believe in me

id walk to you if i had no other way.

Stop this Train
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It's funny how I certain things can drive you to that same child-like level of vulnerability,
When you were completely convinced that you had grown up, and left that side of you behind.
I'm not used to this, no.
Not at all.
It's an uncomfortable experience that I do not wish to have to get used to,
because It makes me feel helpless, useless and without any form of hope to hold on to.
Fear and doubt is building up to a climax, because yes, it is extremely appropriate to Fear something I have no control over.
I'm not ready, not by a long shot.
But of course, the truth, the only truth that lies in this.
Is that I have no say in this, and whether I'm ready or not,
whatever happens, will happen.
This aching aching head.
I would honestly love some sleep.
But the moment these eyes are closed,
those thoughts, a million and one thoughts,
be they good,bad or just downright insane,
come flooding in and yes, once again.
I lie there powerless to do anything.
It is not up to me to decide.
But please, don't do this.
It's not right.
It can't be.

(no subject)
believe in me
Ahh my dear journal,
One that I rarely update but can't seem to abandon altogether.
I guess there's a secret comfort I know that I can rely on when I finally feel like I have enough on my head to puke out through my fingers.
I did consider switching blogging mediums, specifically tumblr, but it depressed me immensely.
It wasn't so much about blogging as it was about posting faux-vintage effects picture with witty-one liners, or not so witty paragraphs of text.
Okay, come to think about it, the one-liners weren't that great either.
Glorified adult picture book. Learn to type dumbass.
Like this.
And this.
Andddddddddd this as well.
I guess I was supposed to update about life and how well I was doing,
but meh.
Its stable, stagnant, pretty much Meh.
Not that there's anything wrong with Meh.
I'd choose Meh over any other potential shitstorms i've been through previously.
And still life goes on.
I'm not getting my zombie apocalypse aren't I?
I guess it's good that I'm not getting that.
As much as I want it.
I've spent too many days doing nothing,
but I don't see myself doing anything more worthwhile.
Carpe Diem can kiss my ass.
Have a good one everyone.

The Compulsory New Year's Day Entry
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New Year's eh?
Nothing sums it up better than this one acronym.
Same Shit,Different Day.
Bring it on 2011,
I'll punch you in the face and eat your children.

(no subject)
believe in me
The truth is,
We never do fix ourselves.
We adapt, either for better or for worse.
But once the damage has been done,
its permanent.

(no subject)
believe in me
Well I looked my demons in the eyes,
Laid bare my chest said "Do your best, destroy me."
See I've been to hell and back so many times,
I must admit you kinda bore me.

There's a lot of things that can kill a man.
There's a lot of ways to die.
Yes and some already dead who walk beside you.
There's a lot of things I don't understand
Why so many people lie
Well it's the hurt you hide that fuels the fires inside you.

(no subject)
believe in me
Found on the internet:

" A cigarette to me is like the epic ex-girlfriend.
The one that got away, the one you could never truly stop thinking about.
You give it up for a couple of days and you come back anyway.
Because each stick,its a like an unadulterated make-out session;
you might temporarily feel better,
but in the long run, both of you come off worse for wear.
This is why so many people can't quit.
The reason why you enjoy it, is the reason why you want to quit."

The Reason Why
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Well its been ages since ive penned down a decent entry for this trusty blog,
so what better time then now.
in the wee hours of morning where i'd generally be better off sleeping.
but i can't sleep so one understands the incredible conundrum here.
oh yeah.
thats a new one.
im in my room devoid of any extra light under than that off this keyboard,
my window's opened wide to let in any remnants of wind into this poorly ventilated room
Kula Shaker is blasting on my chapalang speakers.
oh wait that's the backlight from the laptop.
right. my bad.
now this is the time of day where i can bear living and being a singaporeannnn.
stupid laggy laptop. stop lagging.
its nice and quiet.
but im still wide awake.
this is actually pretty fun once you get the hang of it.
oh yeah anyway purpose.
the purpose of this entry (since entries with meaning are all the rage nowadays)
is to well ooh hello random moth!
oh yeah that kinda happens all the time in my room.
moths like to crash on my laptop,
they're cool like that.
And even though sleep has forsaken, i feel that life on a whole is improving.
Thanks to ramadhan.
Didnt see that coming did ya!
Take Care.

Gooodbye S1
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Bah i was trying to figure out why my LJ was looking all retarded all of a sudden.
Turns out its because they dont support this style system anymore.
Oh well, i guess it'll be a while before i re-learn all the overrides.
Hope everyone's doing well,
I know I am.
Fishing has been too good.

Demons & More Demons
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its fun to hang out with your demons,
but never let them stay.
when they start making their descisions for you,
you're in for a world of hurt.

(no subject)
believe in me
borrowing a word from edward norton in Fight Club

"Even babies don't sleep this well."

thank god for the endless rain for a good portion of the afternoon to the evening.
everyday should be like this.
yeap, everyday.


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